Coming Back from Writer’s Block

I want to say I’m sorry that I haven’t been blogging recently, but the truth is, something really upsetting happened and I just couldn’t write. I still don’t really have the words to explain, but I’ll give it a go.

My grandmother had seen the seasons come and go over the past 95 years, but this winter was her last. She was very old, frail, and suffered horribly with arthritis. At 95 years old, her death was not unexpected. You could say that she had a  long life. But no matter how old a family member is when they go, their departure is always a shock. It’s as if you can mentally prepare yourself for them to die of old age, but when it actually happens, it still shocks your spirit to the core.

Whenever I’m upset I find it difficult to write, take photos, or generally express myself creatively. It’s as if the emotional upheaval disturbs my ability to be creative. I’m sure that I’m not the only blogger who has experienced this particular type of writer’s block, but sometimes it feels as if I am. And then the longer you leave a blog alone, the harder it becomes to get it going again. So thank you for reading this, and I hope that you can bear with me while I get back in the writing groove again.

Lauren x

 

4 thoughts on “Coming Back from Writer’s Block

  1. I think you are brave to admit to this as people seem to think once someone has passed a certain age that “they have lived a full life” and we should all be able to shrug loss off. This is not the case and if it’s someone you love or care for then the loss is devastating regardless of their age, situation, health etc. I still miss both my grandfather’s who I lost within 6 months of each other, the hole that they left is still there, gaping, huge. Time has not healed this and time will not heal this but one day I will be able to manage to function as part of this world as everyone else seems to do but the loss will not ever leave me. I just hope that one day I learn to accept it better and function alongside the hole and I hope and wish for the same for you. I hope this makes you feel you aren’t alone and that it’s ok to miss the people you love and care about that are no longer able to be in your life. It’s ok to take your time, it’s ok to be sad, it’s ok to feel however you want to feel about it and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. I wish you the best, and that you will be able to cope with the hole, someday, whenever that is xxx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for sending me such kind words, they are much appreciated. I could not agree more with you – I too get annoyed when some people dismiss the death of someone old, casually remarking “she had a good innings” or “you can’t expect more than that”. It’s as if it’s a convenient way of disregarding the grief of someone, or excusing yourself from the burden of consoling someone in pain, by casually tossing the matter aside – because the person who died was old, you should not trouble yourself with grief, and I should not trouble myself to console you. This kind of attitude is one of the worst, and it’s one that always makes me angry whenever I encounter it. I am so sorry to hear that you lost two grandfathers so close together – and again, you are right about time. It does not heal, you just learn to cope. I often think of losing my grandfather as like losing a leg. Time hasn’t given me a replacement leg, but I’ve learnt to hop. xx

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